Stop Waiting for Permission: How to Bet on Yourself =================================================== Ann Hiatt, who worked with Bezos and Schmidt, says the only person who can decide your success is you. We talk about the unreasonable ask, the three P's, and why playing it safe is the real risk. ---------------------------------------- SAM: Hey there, welcome back to 7 Minute Books. I'm Sam, and today we're diving into Ann Hiatt's Bet on Yourself. Sophie, have you ever felt like you're just waiting for someone to give you a shot? SOPHIE: Oh, all the time. And that's exactly what this book is about. Ann Hiatt spent fifteen years working with Jeff Bezos and Eric Schmidt, and she says that waiting for permission is the biggest trap we fall into. SAM: Right, because we think if we just work hard enough, someone will notice and promote us. But Hiatt says that's a myth. No one is coming to rescue you. SOPHIE: Exactly. She says the world isn't keeping score of your potential. You have to make yourself impossible to ignore. SAM: So how do you do that? I mean, when you're starting out, you have no experience, no authority. What can you actually do? SOPHIE: She says focus on what you can control, your effort, your attitude, and your willingness to do the work others avoid. She talks about her own time as an assistant at Amazon, where she made herself indispensable by anticipating needs and taking on extra projects. SAM: That sounds like a lot of grunt work. Isn't that just being a martyr? SOPHIE: No, because it's about building trust through demonstrated competence. You can't just intend to be good; you have to show it through action. SAM: Okay, that makes sense. But what about when you've got some experience? She talks about the middle phase, right? SOPHIE: Yeah, that's where you build your reputation and expertise. And here's where she introduces this wild concept called the unreasonable ask. SAM: The unreasonable ask. I love that. What is it? SOPHIE: Basically, most people limit themselves by what they think is reasonable. They assume certain opportunities are out of reach, so they never even try. Hiatt says the people who achieve extraordinary things are just more willing to ask for what they want, even when it seems unreasonable. SAM: So you just ask for the thing you want, even if it's a long shot? SOPHIE: Exactly. The worst that happens is a no, and a no leaves you exactly where you started. But a yes can change everything. SAM: That's so simple, but so powerful. I think I've talked myself out of asking for things so many times because I thought it would be pushy or entitled. SOPHIE: Right, but she's not saying be demanding. She's saying recognize that the boundaries you perceive are often self-imposed. SAM: Okay, so what about later in your career? She says something about the trap of comfort, right? SOPHIE: Yes. When you've built some success, you naturally want to protect it. But Hiatt argues that the greatest risk isn't failure; it's irrelevance. The world changes fast, and the skills that got you here might not get you there. SAM: So you have to keep taking risks, even when things are going well. That's scary. SOPHIE: It is. But she says the key is to make sure your failures are learning experiences, not catastrophes. And you never stop investing in your own growth. SAM: There's also a whole section on relationships, right? Because betting on yourself doesn't mean going it alone. SOPHIE: No, not at all. In fact, the opposite. The most successful people are masters of building networks and cultivating mentors. But she makes a crucial distinction, these relationships have to be based on genuine value exchange, not just what you can get. SAM: So it's not about collecting contacts like business cards. SOPHIE: Exactly. You focus on what you can offer first. When you consistently bring value, people want to help you in return. It's not manipulation; it's just being a person of substance. SAM: And she also challenges the whole idea of a linear career, doesn't she? Like, we're told to climb the ladder, but she says think of it as a portfolio. SOPHIE: Yeah, she says the modern world rewards adaptability and curiosity. You should be open to opportunities that don't fit the traditional path, and even be willing to start over if needed. SAM: And be honest about what you actually want, not what your parents or culture want for you. SOPHIE: Right. Too many people pursue goals that belong to someone else and end up feeling unfulfilled even when they achieve them. Betting on yourself means defining success on your own terms. SAM: Okay, so she also has this framework called the three P's. What are those? SOPHIE: Performance, perception, and presence. Performance is delivering results that exceed expectations. Perception is how others see you, your reputation. And presence is showing up fully engaged in every interaction. SAM: So you need all three? Like, you can be a great performer, but if no one knows, your impact is limited? SOPHIE: Exactly. And if you have a great reputation but can't deliver results, it crumbles. You have to cultivate all three simultaneously. SAM: There's also something about dealing with fear and self-doubt. She says even the most successful people feel that. SOPHIE: Right, but they don't let it stop them. She suggests breaking down the worst-case scenario and asking if you could survive it. Usually, you can. And the upside of taking the risk is often much greater than the downside. SAM: So you build confidence by acting, not by waiting to feel confident. SOPHIE: Exactly. And then there's this idea of strategic patience. Betting on yourself doesn't mean quitting your job every time you're frustrated. SAM: So sometimes the smartest bet is to stay put and build your skills? SOPHIE: Yes, but you have to be intentional about it. It's not procrastination disguised as prudence. You have a clear sense of what you're working toward, and you use your current situation as a platform for growth. SAM: And you also need to know when to walk away. She says that's just as important. SOPHIE: Absolutely. If a situation becomes toxic or stagnant, you have to recognize it and leave at the right time. SAM: She also talks about resilience and failure. She says failure isn't a reflection of your worth. SOPHIE: Right, it's just part of the learning process. She shares stories of her own setbacks and how each one became a stepping stone. The key is to have a growth mindset in action, not just in theory. SAM: And she's realistic about luck and timing, too. She says you can't control everything, but you can increase your chances of being lucky. SOPHIE: Yeah, by being visible, prepared, and open to unexpected opportunities. Say yes to things that scare you, meet people who challenge you, and go where you're not the smartest person in the room. SAM: So luck isn't random. It's the intersection of preparation and opportunity. SOPHIE: Exactly. And she doesn't promise easy answers. She acknowledges systemic barriers exist and not everyone starts from the same place. But within your constraints, there's always room to make choices that improve your situation. SAM: That's a really grounded take. So what's the one thing you're taking away from this book? SOPHIE: I think it's that I need to stop waiting for permission and start making my own opportunities. The cost of playing small isn't just missed chances; it's a life lived below my potential. SAM: Yeah, that's powerful. And honestly, if you want to go deeper, the whole library is over at 7minutebooks.com/app, with over 6,000 fiction and nonfiction titles you can read or listen to in any language. It's just $2.99 a month, $9.99 a year, or $19.99 for lifetime access. SOPHIE: And that's the real message of this book, your life is your own creation, and every day you have the chance to choose the person you want to become. We'll see you in the next one.