The Two Lives We Could Live =========================== Sam and Sophie wrestle with Kierkegaard's classic about choosing between a life of pleasure and a life of commitment. Does the aesthetic life lead to despair? And can we really avoid the leap? ---------------------------------------- SAM: Hey there, welcome back to 7 Minute Books. I'm Sam, and today we're talking about Søren Kierkegaard's Either/Or, one of those books that's been sitting on my shelf for years and I finally picked up. Sophie, you've read this one more recently than I have, what's the big deal? SOPHIE: Hey there Sam. So, Either/Or is Kierkegaard's big philosophical work about two fundamental ways of living. It's presented as a collection of papers from two different authors, one aesthetic, one ethical, and the whole book is basically a showdown between a life of pleasure and a life of commitment. SAM: Right, and it's not like a dry philosophy book. It's written under a pseudonym, Victor Eremita, who claims he found these papers in a desk drawer. So you're reading these very personal, almost literary essays and letters. SOPHIE: Exactly. And the first half is from this young guy called A, who is all about the aesthetic life. He's into music, seduction, living in the moment. He worships Mozart's Don Giovanni because that character is pure, unreflective desire. SAM: Yeah, and at first it sounds kind of appealing, right? Live for beauty, avoid boredom, be a connoisseur of experience. But then you realize he's actually miserable. He writes about boredom being the root of all evil. SOPHIE: Totally. The aesthetic life is a constant fight against boredom. Every thrill fades, and you need a bigger thrill next time. Kierkegaard says that life ends in despair, even if you don't admit it. SAM: And that's where the second author comes in. Judge William. He's the ethical guy. Married, a civil servant, all about duty and commitment. He writes letters to A trying to convince him to make the leap. SOPHIE: What's interesting is that he doesn't say pleasure is bad. He says it has to be put in a framework of commitment. Like marriage, it's not the end of romance, it's the real thing because you've chosen it. SAM: There's this idea that the ethical life isn't about choosing between good and evil. It's about choosing to choose. It's the act of commitment that makes you a self. SOPHIE: Exactly. Kierkegaard calls it the leap. It's not a rational calculation. It's a passionate decision that transforms your whole existence. And the aesthetic person tries to avoid that leap, but avoiding it is itself a choice. SAM: So the aesthetic life is actually a flight from being human. You can't just stay in a state of endless possibility. Life forces you to choose. SOPHIE: Right. And one of the most powerful parts is how he talks about time. The aesthetic person lives in the moment, but the moment always slips away. The ethical person creates continuity through commitment, marriage, work, and friendship. SAM: There's that chilling section called the 'Diary of the Seducer,' where this guy Johannes pursues a woman just for the thrill of the chase. Once he wins, he loses interest. He doesn't see her as a person, just an experience. SOPHIE: And Judge William argues that true love is about fidelity. It's not a feeling, it's a duty. And that duty gives love depth. It's a pretty radical idea. SAM: But here's the thing, Kierkegaard doesn't make the ethical life sound easy. Judge William's letters are compelling, but they're also limited. He's speaking from inside the ethical sphere, and you get the sense there's something more. SOPHIE: Yeah, the book points beyond both to a religious sphere. Kierkegaard will develop that later, but in Either/Or it's just a hint. There's a restlessness even in the ethical life. SAM: The key insight for me is that the aesthetic life isn't a real alternative. It's a life of despair. The ethical life is a life of hope because you're actually becoming a self. SOPHIE: And Kierkegaard understands the appeal of the aesthetic. He's not a moralist. He knows it's seductive. But he says it's actually a kind of slavery, you're driven by your desires and moods. The ethical person, by accepting limits, becomes free. SAM: That's the paradox, isn't it? Freedom through commitment. Choosing closes off other possibilities, but it's the only way to have a real self. SOPHIE: And the book itself is designed to provoke you. It's not a treatise, it's a series of voices. The pseudonym, the found papers, Kierkegaard wants you to struggle with the questions yourself. SAM: So what do you actually take away from this? For me, it's that I can't just drift. I have to make choices and own them. That's how I become who I am. SOPHIE: Totally. And if you want to chew on that more, the full summary is on the 7 Minute Books app, over 6,000 fiction and nonfiction titles you can read or listen to in any language. It's $2.99 a month, $9.99 a year, or $19.99 for lifetime access. Just go to 7minutebooks.com/app. SAM: It's a book that really stays with you. I'm glad we finally talked about it. SOPHIE: Yeah. Either/Or reminds us that we can't avoid the fundamental question, how shall we live? And it's a question worth asking. We'll see you in the next one.