Food, Grief, and Reclaiming Identity in Michelle Zauner's Memoir ================================================================ Sam and Sophie dive into Michelle Zauner's raw, beautiful memoir about losing her mother and finding herself through Korean cooking. It's a conversation about food as love language, the complexity of mother-daughter relationships, and what it means to inherit a culture through taste and smell. ---------------------------------------- SAM: Hey everyone, I'm Sam, and today we're talking about Michelle Zauner's memoir Crying in H Mart. Sophie, I have to ask, did this book make you cry? SOPHIE: Oh, absolutely. I mean, Sam, you know me, I cry at everything. But this one got me good. It's a book about losing your mother and finding her again through food. And it's not sentimental in a cheap way; it's raw and honest. SAM: Yeah, the opening scene alone, she's standing in H Mart, the Korean grocery store, just weeping in the aisle over a jar of kimchi. And you immediately understand, this isn't about the food itself, it's about everything the food represents. SOPHIE: Right. Food is her mother's love language. Her mother, Chongmi, expresses care through meals. So when her mother dies, the grocery store becomes this charged space where all that grief and love collide. SAM: And Michelle grew up feeling caught between two worlds. Her mom is Korean, her dad is American, and she's in Eugene, Oregon, wanting to fit in. She resents the kimchi smell on her clothes, she wants Lunchables. SOPHIE: There's this tension between wanting to be normal, which in her context means white, and being pulled back into her Korean heritage at home. Her mom is strict, pushes her in piano and academics. It's a complicated relationship. SAM: But then she gets the call that her mom has stage four pancreatic cancer. And she drops everything to go home and be a caregiver. That part is brutal. SOPHIE: She doesn't sugarcoat it at all. She writes about the vomiting, the jaundice, the indignity of it all. And the kitchen goes silent. Her mom can't eat anymore. The food that was their connection just stops. SAM: That really hit me. She realizes she never learned how to make her mom's dishes. She never asked for the recipes. And now it's too late to learn from her. SOPHIE: But after her mom dies, she becomes obsessed with learning Korean cooking. She calls her aunt, watches YouTube tutorials, burns rice, over-salts stews. She's not just hungry, she's trying to hold onto her mom. SAM: Cooking becomes her way of grieving. Every time she makes kimchi, she thinks about her mom's hands stained red with gochugaru. Every pot of doenjang jjigae tastes like years of love. SOPHIE: And through that process, she starts to understand her mom in a whole new way. She sees the patience in fermenting kimchi, the precision in rolling kimbap. Her mom's love was always there, but it was spoken in a language Michelle wasn't fluent in yet. SAM: She also explores this Korean concept of han, a kind of collective sorrow and unresolved grief. She recognizes it in her mom, in the silences and the stories never told. And she feels it in herself too. SOPHIE: Cooking becomes a way to transform that han into something nourishing. It's not about fixing the grief; it's about living with it. She becomes a successful musician, gets married, but she keeps cooking. That's how she keeps her mom alive. SAM: The title is perfect. H Mart is this place where she can be Korean without having to explain herself. She cries there because it's overwhelming, the love, the loss, and the longing. But also gratitude. SOPHIE: Yeah, that's the thing. She's not just wallowing. She's reclaiming her heritage. She travels to Korea, meets her mom's family, and realizes her mom was carrying so much history. Leaving Korea, building a new life, it shaped everything. SAM: For me, the biggest takeaway is that we don't always recognize the ways people love us until they're gone. Michelle thought her mom was strict and demanding. But really, her mom was expressing love through the only language she had. SOPHIE: That's the heart of it. And if you want to go deeper, the whole library is over on 7minutebooks.com/app, with over six thousand fiction and nonfiction titles you can read or listen to in any language. It starts at $2.99 a month, $9.99 a year, or $19.99 once for lifetime access. SAM: Crying in H Mart is a book about finding your way back to someone through the meals they made for you. It's messy and beautiful and it will definitely make you hungry. SOPHIE: And it will make you want to call your mom. Or if you can't, to cook something that reminds you of her. That's the real gift of this book. We'll see you in the next one.