The Permission Slip You've Been Waiting For =========================================== Rachel Hollis says the only thing standing between you and your dream is a permission slip you have to write yourself. We dig into the excuses, the haters, and the 5 AM wake-up. ---------------------------------------- SAM: Hey, welcome to 7 Minute Books. I'm Sam, and today we're talking about Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. Sophie, I have to ask, did this book make you want to wake up at five in the morning, or did it make you want to take a nap? SOPHIE: Honestly, both. Hi there Sam. This book is a kick in the pants, and it's all about how we've been conditioned to apologize for wanting more. Hollis argues that the biggest barrier to the life you want isn't time or money. It's that you're waiting for someone to give you permission. And this book is that permission slip. SAM: Yeah, that idea really landed for me. She calls it the culture of apology, where we downplay our achievements and make ourselves small so other people feel comfortable. I definitely do that. I'll preface an idea with a disclaimer before I've even said it. SOPHIE: Right, and she names the epidemic excusitis. It's where we manufacture reasons why we can't pursue our goals. And those excuses aren't born from reality. They're born from fear. Fear of judgment, fear of failure, and honestly, fear of success. SAM: The time excuse is the one that got me. I say I don't have time to exercise, but what I'm really saying is that exercise isn't as important as whatever else is filling my schedule. She's brutal about that. She says time isn't something you find, it's something you make. SOPHIE: Yeah, and she pushes the 5 AM wake-up, not as a dogma, but as a symbol of taking control of your morning before the world's demands begin. The point is to ruthlessly audit your day and carve out the time, even if it means saying no to something else. SAM: I actually pushed back on the 5 AM thing when I first read it. I'm not a morning person. But then she says if you choose to watch TV for two hours, own that choice. Don't pretend you had no time. And that reframe is what got me. SOPHIE: Exactly. It's about ownership. And then there's the fear of what others will think. She talks about the haters, and her advice is to let them. You can't control what people think of you, and trying to is a massive waste of energy that could be spent on your dreams. SAM: The Famous Five idea is so good. She says you need a small group of trusted people who support you unconditionally, and you ignore the feedback of everyone else. I love that. It gives you permission to stop being the main character in everyone else's story. SOPHIE: Right, you're the main character in your own. And then she tackles the excuse of not being qualified. We tell ourselves we need more education or more experience before we can start. She calls that waiting for permission, and it's just procrastination dressed up as prudence. SAM: The only way to become qualified is to do the thing you're afraid of. She says if you want to be a writer, start calling yourself a writer. If you want to be an entrepreneur, start acting like one. It's not delusion, it's a strategy. You anoint yourself. SOPHIE: And she's candid about her own journey. She went from a broke college dropout to a successful CEO, and she's honest about the countless failures along the way. She didn't wait until she knew how to run a company. She learned by running one badly. SAM: That's the part that got me. The myth of overnight success. Most successful people started before they were ready and made a lot of mistakes. So the framework of the book is behaviors, beliefs, and basics. Let's walk through those. SOPHIE: Okay, so the first behavior is to stop apologizing for your ambition. Literally remove the word sorry from your vocabulary when it's used as a hedge. State your goals out loud without diminishing them. Show up for yourself like you would for a best friend. SAM: The second behavior is to plan your life with intention. She's a huge proponent of a weekly planning session where you map out your priorities, your work goals, your family time, and your personal time. If you don't plan your life, someone else will plan it for you. SOPHIE: And the third is discipline. She's clear that motivation is a fickle, unreliable friend. You can't wait for it to strike. You have to build discipline, which is like a muscle that gets stronger with use. Every time you choose your goal over scrolling, you're strengthening it. SAM: Then there's the beliefs phase. Your behaviors are a direct result of your underlying beliefs. If you believe you're not good enough, you'll behave in ways that confirm that. So you have to identify those limiting beliefs and rewrite them. SOPHIE: Instead of saying I'm not a morning person, tell yourself I'm someone who takes control of her day. Instead of I'm bad at business, tell yourself I'm learning to be a great businesswoman. It's not toxic positivity, it's cognitive reframing. You have to believe in the possibility of your own success. SAM: And she's big on letting go of perfectionism. Done is better than perfect. Put your work out into the world, get feedback, and iterate. Don't wait for the perfect product or the perfect moment. That's the enemy of progress. SOPHIE: The final phase is the basics. She identifies three non-negotiables. Sleep, nutrition, and movement. You can't build a dream life on a foundation of burnout. These aren't punishments, they're tools. Getting enough sleep makes you more creative and less reactive. SAM: I love that she's honest about her own struggles with health and body image. She doesn't preach from a place of perfection. She says moving your body, even for a short walk, clears your mind and reduces stress. It's the foundation for everything else. SOPHIE: And throughout the book, she returns to radical ownership. She has no patience for victimhood. She says you can't change what you don't own. The moment you stop blaming your past, your parents, or the economy is the moment you reclaim your power. SAM: That's a tough pill to swallow, but it's liberating. When you own the problem, you also own the solution. She challenges you to stop asking why is this happening to me and start asking what am I going to do about it. SOPHIE: And she talks about filling your own cup. The cultural narrative that tells women to be self-sacrificing martyrs is toxic. You can't pour from an empty cup. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary. You have to set boundaries and protect your time. SAM: The failure section is great too. She normalizes it. Failure isn't the opposite of success, it's part of the process. She says fail fast, fail forward, and learn from every setback. The goal isn't perfection, it's persistence. SOPHIE: And she warns against shiny object syndrome, where you jump from one idea to the next without finishing anything. Pick one goal and stick with it, even when it gets boring. Success is the accumulation of small, consistent actions over time. The grind. SAM: The book ends with a call to action. It's not enough to feel inspired. You have to act. She encourages you to set a specific, measurable goal and create a plan. Start small, build momentum, and celebrate the small wins. And get accountability. SOPHIE: Yeah, whether it's a coach, a friend, or a community. You're far more likely to follow through if you have someone to answer to. And she warns against comparison. Run your own race. Stop measuring your behind the scenes struggles against someone else's curated success. SAM: So the one thing I'm taking away is that permission is something you give yourself. You don't need to wait for the perfect time or the perfect version of yourself. That person doesn't exist. You have to start with the person you are right now. SOPHIE: And if you want to go deeper, the whole library is over at 7minutebooks.com/app. They've got over 6,000 fiction and nonfiction titles you can read or listen to in any language. It starts at $2.99 a month, $9.99 a year, or $19.99 once for lifetime access. SOPHIE: So the whole point is that you have permission. Now go. We'll see you in the next one.